You Can’t Change Men!


God created human beings and He created them in His image and thus He is the one who has the highest authority upon our lives. We pray that He changes our lives and that He takes us through a righteous path and help us find our purpose in life. God choose us even before we were born and it is also our choice to follow in his path and accept Him in our lives. It is Him who can change a man, it is Him who can seek and save the lost and it is our choice if we want to allow God to work within us.

Women God has given us the power of “Prayer” and through prayer we believe that He will fix, change and set the path of our husbands, boyfriends or children straight. We have no power to do Gods work of changing men. Men are not projects that you can edit, draft or fix so what you see is what you get. I promise you that you will get hurt and taken advantage of when you try to change a man.

Women you must know your own value! I am talking to women and not girls, I am talking to women who are fierce, God-fearing, matured and who know what they want in life. You can’t be dating a broke person, a person who doesn’t have hustle within him, a man who just doesn’t have a plan for the future and who is not doing something important with his life. You can’t date him in hope that he will grow up and sober up one day. They is no one day in the calendar, what day is that suppose to be? What you see is what you get! You can’t do everything for him, you can’t build a CV for him he must wake up early and go hustle a future for himself – its called self-determination. You can not pay his rent in the meantime no, he can’t stay over at your apartment he must just return to his mother’s house and go eat a free plate there. You can not be out here buying clothes for him or opening clothing accounts for him in your own name, no his brothers and uncles will give him their second-hand cloths. You are not his mother, you are his girlfriend.

If you do all this for him, you teach him that you are his Atm and resource bank and he shall draw from his resource bank unashamedly. He will use you as a corporate ladder to get where he wants to be in life and then he will leave you there broken and broke. You will ask where God is but I will ask you that didn’t God give a sound mind and intelligence to think and didn’t He give you wisdom to make better choices. I am so sorry if this is your reality right now my sister, its alright to feel the way that you are feeling  right now and please forgive yourself so that you can move on with life. Its alright because you did what you thought was best at that time and we can’t reverse time so its alright just forgive yourself and learn from your mistakes.

I am no expect in relationships but somethings should just be said out loud no matter whose feelings get hurt. There are good men out there I have seen it. Maybe you and your boyfriend help each other out financially for instance and help each other identify opportunities to upgrade each other, then that’s fine if it works for you. If he cheats on you it’s really up to you if want to give him another chance to prove himself as a better man but don’t be naive and don’t be a fool. If you see the signs and you are not sure, just listen to your gut ladies it will never lead you astray. Don’t be afraid to start over, years in a relationship with someone really don’t mean anything if your needs are not meet and if you are not satisfied.

Finally, you are his girlfriend and not his wife so you don’t owe anyone anything. If God blesses you with a job 1000 km away from bae do not comprise for the sake of being near to him whereas he hasn’t made the official sacrifice of wanting to make you his wife. You will visit him during weekends and if it doesn’t work out then it wasn’t meant to be because someone who truly loves you will go out of his way to make your relationship work regardless of the distance. Women you are beautiful with your imperfections, so know your value, rather be single than to be treated badly.

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