Distrust

Doubtfulness, Suspicion, Skepticism

These are just a few words to explain mistrust. Mistrust is when you lose faith in someone that you don’t trust a word they say. Mistrust is when you have been betrayed in such an incomprehensible manner that it upsets you that you didn’t even see it coming. Its when your heart forgives but your mind won’t let its guard down. Your mind rationalizes everything and anything makes sense to you and you can’t help it but to believe it. You calculate every move and critically analyse every word and make sure it links with what was previously said. Without trust everything is stagnant, you want to move on but your mind just wont let you take that step, you can’t be made a fool again and you can’t mourn and hurt no more.

So you build yourself a defensive wall and you ready to attack all the time. You don’t allow yourself to view in a different perspective especially if it’s a positive point because then it means you letting go, it means you trusting again, it means you giving them a benefit of a doubt and it means you breaking your defensive wall and you will be vulnerable again. Mistrust is lacking to have trust, lacking to allow yourself to trust again. Distrust is when you give yourself time because you believe that it will heal everything but you still waiting a year later to “heal”. Distrust is being able to love halfheartedly but not being able to love wholeheartedly again. And that only results in destruction of your relationship and yourself. I honestly can’t tell you how to trust again or how to get over it.

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